With over 600,000 babies born in England in the last year, more than 65,000 different names were chosen for them. It’s interesting how more baby names are becoming weird as parents search for unusual and truly unique names for their newborn babies. Olivia was the most popular first name given to baby girls born in England and Wales since 2016, thereby replacing Amelia, which had been the most popular girls’ name given to newly born since 2011. However, in 2018, the majority of the female born are now being named Luna or Skylar instead of names like Olivia, Amelia, Mary or Janet.
Naming your child was once simple: you picked from the same handful of options everyone else had already used. But modern parents want exclusivity. These days, boys are called Rollo and girls answer to Plum. Throw in a celebrity name like Kanye West who named his daughter North. Of course the baby’s full name – North West sounds like someone looking for direction.
The late superstar singer, Michael Jackson named one of his sons – Blanket. Last year, Blanket Jackson changed his name after being reportedly bullied for years. The teen is now going by the name Bigi, which comes from German origin and means idealistic, sensitive and inspirational.
Lots of names in the Bible have positive meanings. But, one you may want to avoid is Jabez. It means sorrowful.
“Now Jabez was more honourable than his brothers, and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, ‘Because I bore him in pain’.” 1 Chronicles 4:9
If you consider the average African names on birth certificates, it begins to look like an earthquake under a Scrabble board, as Africans would rather have five to seven middle names given to their children.
These days, all over the world, babies bear all sorts of funny names in the society; many of which have their names made up of words long enough to form a full sentence, while many give their newborn babies names of innate objects.
Couples most times take their time to choose names when starting a family as they want to be sure their children have smart and beautiful names. Regardless of all this, some people bear names that are thought to be strange for many reasons.
In Africa, names usually have a meaning. They signify the event or circumstances surrounding a child’s birth or they represent the parent’s wishes and hopes for a child’s future. The introduction of English names for black people, however, has produced some hilarious results, especially in countries like South Africa and Namibia.
South African and Namibian names
In 1963, two South African Rands was a whole lot of money, it could get you so much then than these present days. But, when a parent thinks so highly of the local currency and named their child Two-Rand, you cannot but expect a rapid devaluation as the child gets older.
No matter how odd the names are, we doubt if anyone in Britain could match Zambian and Namibian names listed below.
Examination usually leads to a lot of tension and anxiety commonly known as examination phobia. The South African man below was probably born just to conquer his parents’ fears, as they were already thinking ahead about his matriculation and exams soon after he was born when they named him Matric Examsion.
2. Happy Birthday
Don’t bother to wish this guy a happy birthday once a year, people say that to him every day. You don’t even have to remember his birthday, just call his name.
3. Victor Don’t Worry
If Victor really gets to live up to his name, he must be one of the most relaxed people on earth. He certainly has nothing to worry about.
Ligongo is a male Malawian which means – “Who is this?”
Pronounced as lee-GOHN-goh, from an ethnic group known as Yao.
Edward Roadblock is also from Namibia.
Perhaps his parents have something to do with traffic or road construction. Someone once said, “You overcome roadblocks by first identifying the roadblock. Assess the situation, the roadblock, and then look at your options to bypass it.” I’m sure Edward Roadblock’s parents have something on their mind during his naming ceremony.
African names could have many connotations, like Tawanda
Tawanda is a Zimbabwean baby name meaning “A slender, young tree.”
Another meaning of Tawanda is “You like to control everyone within your influence, to shape things to your own liking. You are sensitive, affectionate, imaginative and cooperative, spiritually aware and prone to self-sacrifice. You may have healing and psychic powers. You know what you want and you always looking for a chance to do your own thing, to be your own person.”
7. Emmanuel Very Important Person
Emmanuel’s parent obviously wants him to become a VIP. They expect their son to end up a famous person.
8. Why God
Tjiuondeka Why God. His name in itself leads to many questions: Why God? Why would his parent question God? Is it okay to question God? What did his parents expect to see when he showed up that made them question God. So much that they expect the question to last his lifetime?
This guy’s parent probably looked at the child when he was born and asked “how can God let this happen?”
9. Doesn’t Matter
A Zambian parent felt that whatever name they call their child – it doesn’t really matter.
A South African man is Christened – Promise.
A promise is an assurance that one will definitely do something or that something will happen.
Some names are so long, you don’t even need to bother trying to say them.
One of the most interesting name in the world so far is from Nigeria. A child was Christened Uvuwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Ugwemubwem-Osas
If you’d hoped to give your child a unique name, do your homework to avoid disappointment in the future.
You may wish to pick a name because you like the bearer. But, if you like a name but don’t like the bearer of the name don’t let that put you off naming your child with a decent name.
When choosing babies’ names, it’s hard not to conjure every personal reference from our lives: that childhood friend who once insulted us, that mean uncle or aunty, that scary grandparent of our partner. But that kind of process of elimination ends up eliminating every name.
Remember, that weird person you dislike will fade from memory soon, and you’d regret giving up a good name for them. Don’t end up with a lifetime of confusing or embarrassing names.